Born to Die
by EspadaNumber4
Summary: -Oneshot- How do you cope when the unthinkable happens?  A question Renji is faced with when his wife Rukia dies.  In his time of mourning comfort comes from an unexpected place.


Born to Die

He wished that he was dead. Not only would that end the earth-shattering pain, but maybe then he would be with her again. He didn't deserve to live anyway. What kind of man can't protect his family? What kind of man watches helplessly as the life drains out of the eyes of his wife? The kind that would be better off dead.

It wasn't always like this. For a few moments, Renji allowed his thoughts to drift back to happier times.

It was a bright summer day, warm, but not hot. Frequent breezes lazily pushed coulds through the sky. Renji stood beneath the base of a great oak tree roughly a mile from the Sokyoku. He glanced down at his watch, then back up at the deserted hillside.

"I'm here!" the voice came from the other side of the hill. Within a few seconds, Renji's best friend and former rival appeared. He was handsome, for a guy. Bright orange hair, big brown eyes, and long thin limbs were the distinguishing characteristics of the substitute soul reaper Ichigo Kurosaki.

"It's about damn time!" Renji said as he ran up to meet his friend. "Did you find them?"

"They're right here." The carrot top said with a bright smile. He reached into the pocket of his tuxedo and withdrew a slip of paper. "I don't know how you can read this chicken scratch. You're going to be stumbling all over your vows." he added.

"There's nothing wrong with my handwriting, now lets go, before it starts without us." Renji said, turning towards Sokyoku hill.

"They won't get very far without a groom," Ichigo said grinning from ear to ear."but you're right, I'll race you to the top!" and with that, he was off. Renji took off right behind him.

Renji won the race, but only because Ichigo let him. He looked around Sokyoku hill in awe. The last time he was here it was to stop Rukia's execution, now it was to marry her. Hundreds of people had gathered to see the procession, after all it wasn't everyday that the heir to a noble house was to be married. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he thought about what it would mean to be a Kuchiki. A warm hand placed itself firmly on his shoulder. It was the hand of his best man and best friend Ichigo. The music had started. and the wedding was beginning.

At the end of the aisle stood two figuires, one dressed in black, the other in white. One was the figuire of Byakuya Kuchiki, captain of the Sixth squad of the Gotei Thirteen, and the head of the noble Kuchiki House. On his arm was his sister, and the most beautiful woman in the Seireitei, Rukia Kuchiki. She was a vision in her extravagant lacy white dress. Her raven black hair was tied back in an elegant bun. Her ears and neck were adorned with gems of irreproachable quality and value. Her lovely face was as serene as he'd ever seen it.

As the very site of his bride to be his stomach settled. He knew he would lover her forever. He knew that this was the very best day of his life. He knew that he'd never love anyone nearly as much as he loved her, and he knew with absolute certainty that he was the luckiest man in this world or any other.

A knock at the door brought Renji back to the present. HIs beautiful wife was no longer among the living. Their home was now heavy with the weight of her absence. The knock sounded agian.

"Go away Ichigo!" Renji yelled, his voice nearly breaking.

"I am not Ichigo Kurosaki." a familliar voice called out from behind the door. Renji bolted to his feet. Before he knew it he was at the door, he opened it.

"Captain." Renji looked into the expressionless face of his mentor.

"May I come in?" his voice was level, not giving away the slightest hint of emotion.

"Of course." Renji said opening the door wider and allowing his captain into his home. "How can I help you Captain?" Renji asked, forcing down all of his emotions. Byakuya hesitated as though trying to find the right words.

"I am not here as your captain Renji, I am here as your brother. I was in the very same situation many years ago when Hisana died. Though I am mourning the death of my sister, it pales in comparison to the loss of your wife."

"Captain..." Renji mumbled.

"Call me Byakuya." the captain said firmly.

"Byakuya," the name sounded foreign coming out of his mouth. "how do you make the pain stop?"

"You don't. The pain you're feeling will never go away, and be grateful for that, because it's all you truly have left of her. Just put one foot in front of the other, and over time the pain will be less and less crippling, but your heart will always ache when you are reminded of her. That is what happens when one has loved and lost."

"Why did she have to die?" he found himself almost to the point of sobbing.

"We're all born to die. the only thing left to do is honor her memory until you meet her on the other side." Byakuya said. He placed his hand on Renji's shoulder, clasping it firmly. "I'll leave you in peace." The Squad Six captain moved towards the door.

"Byakuya," the captain turned to his lieutenant. "Thank you."

"That's what family is for Renji." and with that he left. Renji stared at the door, for several moments. HIs captain, his brother, came to comfort him. With the knowledge that he wasn't in this alone came the slightest sense of relief. The crippling pain at the thought of Rukia was marginally less crippling.


End file.
